Monday, November 19, 2018

Post 9: Thesis St-s Practice

  1. Dear All,
  2. Today we'll first revise the structure of a 5-paragraph essay by reading and discussing an essay about Market Forces in Business and then we'll completea set of exercises to help you improve your skills in writing thesis statements. Hope you will find these activities useful.                                                                                                                                    
    Can you comment on the content & structure of this essay: Interesting? (Why or Why not?) Logical? Well-supported? Your comment
  3. Add your versions of the thesis statements in the thread below.

  4. This is an example from the textbook:
    It's focuses on smth the audience can relate to

    1.China is a wonderful tourist destination because of its interesting historical monuments, beautiful tourist resorts and outstanding natural beauty.
  5. 2. Think about why so many people want to go there.

  6. 3. Do not ask the question; answer it. If you do not know about Thailand, use another destination you are familiar with.
  7. 4. Eliminate the announcement and say what the effects are. Will you discuss positive effects, negative effects or both?
  8. 5. Say what the disadvantages are.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    6. Pay attention to parallel structure.
  9.               7. Add two more main points.
  10.               8. PAY ATTENTION TO THE NUMBER OF SENTENCES .

  12. As a part of your hometask, think of a topic that interests you and write 3 thesis statements related to it. Read the thesis statements writtern by 2 of your peers and comment on how well they are written. Use the criteria we've discussed.

    You can use advice on writing thesis statements available at

    http://www.cws.illinois.edu/workshop/writers/tips/thesis/
Posted by at

24 comments:

  1. Швачко ПолинаNovember 19, 2018 at 9:18 PM

    Well, I consider this essay quite interesting as everything connected with tourism industry attracts me very much. Besides, this essay is really well-written. All the components of a coherent and unified piece of work are present here. The thesis statement is formed in a right way as it clarifies the points for the next discussion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Natalia EydelmanNovember 19, 2018 at 9:21 PM

      Thanks, Polina. I'm glad you liked it and expressed your opinion about it clearly

      Delete
    2. Швачко ПолинаNovember 26, 2018 at 9:22 PM

      My way of correecting the sentence number 2 is to write: In 2007 France was the most visited country of the world because of its beautiful architecture, mouth-watering cousine and outstanding nature beauty.

      Delete
    3. Швачко ПолинаDecember 3, 2018 at 3:37 AM

      3. Thailand is such a popular tourist destination because of the three reasons: its beautiful nature, all-time good weather and rich culture heritance.
      4.The effects of increased demand in the tourist industry are opening new tourist destinations, employment creation and countries’ relationship development.
      5. Increased tourism has some disadvantages such as steep prices for tours, overcrowded resorts and excessive contamination places of destination.
      6. Thailand is such a popular tourist destination because of its beautiful beaches, attractive resorts and friendly people.
      7. Travel is the best way to learn about a country’s history, national traditions and regional cuisine.
      8. Canada is a popular tourist destination because it has interesting cities, fabulous resorts and spectacular scenery.

      Delete
  2. Anastasia VinsNovember 19, 2018 at 9:23 PM

    From my point of view, the article which we have read about increasing prices, rationing accsess and creating new destinations is very good developed. In the introduction there is a structute of which the author follows during the whole article. He or she mentioned all the points in this essay in the right order, developed a theme and wrote a topic sentence in each paragraph.

    I found this article very interesting to read because I did not know about some facts in world's tourist industry such as rising prices in Vietnam or fact about the Inca Trail and Machu Picchu.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Natalia EydelmanNovember 19, 2018 at 10:01 PM

      Thanks for your comment. I'm glad you liked the essay and discovered something new in it for yourself. There's a very ingorminfor article about Machu Picchu in Wikipedia (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machu_Picchu) from which you can learn more about it. Of course, you can use any other resource if you want to learn more about it

      Delete
  3. r.bazikovaNovember 19, 2018 at 9:23 PM

    I think this essay is well organized. Thesis statement shows us the order of the paragraphs. They are coherent and unified. Also the theme is good, so it's interesting to read this essay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Natalia EydelmanNovember 19, 2018 at 10:03 PM

      Thanks for sharing your opinion! It's good to know you liked it and found it interesting.

      Delete
  4. Anastasia PetukhovaNovember 19, 2018 at 9:24 PM

    I think it is a very interesting essay, because it is connected with travel and gives us the information about the turism industry of our days.
    This essay has a good organisation, and it is well-supported. We can see all necessary parts: introduction, body and conclusion. There is a thesis statement in intruduction and there are topic sentences in each part of body.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Natalia EydelmanNovember 19, 2018 at 10:05 PM

      Thanks for the explanation. You've explained well why you found it interesting and how it's organized. Well-done;)

      Delete
  5. UnknownNovember 19, 2018 at 9:24 PM

    I can state with convinction that this essay is quite well-written and logically developed. All rules are followed and paragraphs are in the right order. A theme is well-developed, each paragraph has his own topic sentence which, of course, has connection with a theme, and there are some supporting sentences. To crown it all, author used a good vocabulary and there is not any grammatical mistakes! I like this essay a lot!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Natalia EydelmanNovember 19, 2018 at 10:08 PM

      Tereza, you have explained very well what makes this essay interesting to read and well-organised. I quite agree with you about it.

      Delete
    2. Natalia EydelmanNovember 19, 2018 at 10:10 PM

      Just one thing about the style of your comment: it's first phrase sounds unnecessarily formal and looks strange in a blog post, the bulk of which use slightly less formal language;)

      Delete
  6. Anastasia LobanovaNovember 19, 2018 at 9:24 PM

    In my view, the article about an increasing number of tourists was quite informative. The situation is up-to-date and the authority has to do something about it because tourists won`t stop damaging the popular destinations without any restrictions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anastasia LobanovaNovember 19, 2018 at 9:26 PM

      The structure of the essay is really well-organized.

      Delete
    2. Natalia EydelmanNovember 19, 2018 at 10:13 PM

      Nastya,

      Thanks for your comments about the essay's content and organisation. You're quite right about them

      Delete
  7. AsiaNovember 19, 2018 at 9:26 PM

    I liked this essay. To my mind, it is logical and clear to understand. It has good supporting sentences and various interesting evidences. Moreover, it's pretty hard for me to write a conclusion, so a really liked the way the author summarised and paraphrased the thesis statement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Natalia EydelmanNovember 19, 2018 at 10:16 PM

      Thanks for your comment. Your observations are quite right, and I agree with what your opinion.

      We'll discuss how to write better conclusions soon, so I hope you'll learn to write them better:)

      Delete
  8. Roman БанаевNovember 19, 2018 at 9:27 PM

    I consider this essay a well-written one. It is well-organised, each paragraph has a topic sentence which is supplemented with some facts and statistics. It is also easy to define the main idea of the text and, in addition, this essay gives food for thought for further discussion. The plot is informative because i consider these places of great importance. I was thinking about the harm that people might cause when they visit such popular places and was interested in things that can reduce negative effects on the environment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Natalia EydelmanNovember 19, 2018 at 10:20 PM

      Roman, thanks for analysing this essay's content & organisation, which I fully agree with. I was glad to learn that among other things you found it thought-provoking. What do you think can and should be done to help preserve these places for the future?

      Delete
  9. Yulia UfintsevaNovember 19, 2018 at 9:28 PM

    In my opinion, this essay is a well-developed one. It has a strong thesis statement which outlines the main aspects which are going to be highlighted and helps to catch the main idea of the text. The paragraphs are organised quite logically, so the reader is not confused trying to focus on the main sense of the text. Moreover, each argument has a good and appropriate supporting evidence. The conclusion, which was the most interesting part for me, is a really nice written one. Sometimes it is difficult for me to briefly summarize the main aspects in a couple of words. That is why I really enjoyed reading it. Besides, the tourism topic is really appealing and interesting to me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Natalia EydelmanNovember 19, 2018 at 10:24 PM

    Yulia,I found your comments about the essay content & organisation well-written and well-supported with examples. It was very satisfying to see that you pointed out all the the features of this essay that make it well-written.

    ReplyDelete
  11. ЮляNovember 26, 2018 at 9:22 PM

    France is one of the most visited country in the world due to its amazing beautiful places, romantic atmosphere, and delicious food.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yulia UfintsevaNovember 26, 2018 at 9:23 PM

    Together with Azia Mamatova
    3) Thailand is a popular tourist destination for its traditional cuisine, affordable prices and well-developed entertaining sphere

    ReplyDelete

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