Dear All,
Today I'd like to discuss with you a number of problems that keep recurring in your writing:
a) Did you have a chance to read one of the posts by one of your peers they wrote about one of the sessions at the IATEFL Conference? Probably, not yet. So, your first task is to choose one, read about it and comment on it by asking a couple of questions.
b) How to formulate a thesis statement
http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/thesisexerciseprint.html
c) What you need to remember about referencing the resources
for this task I'll analyse one of your works with you together and then let you add references correctly to one of the works you have recently written:
d) Techniques for writing conclusions: This is your home task for 24.03.19
--http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/thesisexerciseprint.html
--https://www.time4writing.com/writing-resources/writing-a-good-conclusion-paragraph/
Today I'd like to discuss with you a number of problems that keep recurring in your writing:
a) Did you have a chance to read one of the posts by one of your peers they wrote about one of the sessions at the IATEFL Conference? Probably, not yet. So, your first task is to choose one, read about it and comment on it by asking a couple of questions.
b) How to formulate a thesis statement
http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/thesisexerciseprint.html
c) What you need to remember about referencing the resources
for this task I'll analyse one of your works with you together and then let you add references correctly to one of the works you have recently written:
d) Techniques for writing conclusions: This is your home task for 24.03.19
--http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/thesisexerciseprint.html
--https://www.time4writing.com/writing-resources/writing-a-good-conclusion-paragraph/
Let's discuss the thesis statements from
ReplyDeleteand decide whether it is good or not really and why after which we'll try to revise them
Here's the 1st one:
“In this essay I will try to prove that drugs such as Prozac and Paxil are unnecessary and probably dangerous."
I think we should change it in this way: "Drugs such as Prozac and Paxil may be dangerous for you".
Delete(Yana and Julia)
As the drug addiction is so drastically widespread in modern society it is important to remember that drug usage especially such dangerous as Prozac and Paxil perils not only your health but mental stability as well causing your to suffer many additional inconveniences.
DeleteI have to comment on both of your statements in the same comment because for some reason they have been published together:
DeleteYulya and Yana: your is too general. Yes, you have just said you do not have enough information about these drugs. I agree but maybe you can make a list of points for discussion? I mean some generic ones.
As the drug addiction is so drastically widespread in modern society it is important to remember that drug use especially such dangerous ones as Prozac and Paxil perils not only your health but mental stability as well as causes your suffering many additional inconveniences
DeleteRoman, as we have just discussed, yours is too long. Here is a resource from which you can learn more about the sentence length in English: https://able2know.org/topic/114565-1
Delete2. "In his novel The Long Walk, it seems as if Stephen King is attempting to make a statement about the evils of laissez-faire capitalism, and in my opinion the characters and settings reflected this well."
ReplyDeleteYana and I suggest the correct variant of thesis statement: "In the novel 'The Long Walk' Stephen King is attempting to make a statement about the evils of laissez-faire capitalism, the characters and settings reflected this well".
DeleteThe Long Walk by Stephen King is a perfect representation of evils of lassez-faire capitalism which are shown through the rivalry among the competitors,their mental disorders and media's abuse of depicting everything around us.
Delete"In the novel 'The Long Walk' Stephen King is attempting to make a statement about the evils of laissez-faire reflected well through the characters and settings".
DeleteYulya & Yana: you need to add an appropriate conjunction to improve your version of the thesis statement.
DeleteRoman,
Deletethanks for your version of the thesis statement. It meets all the necessary requirements to thesis statements
3. What is wrong with this thesis? How could you revise it?
ReplyDelete"The Great Gatsby is inarguably the best-written novel of the last 100 years, leaving millions of readers with either a renewed or disenchanted view of the “American Dream.”
Yana and I think that we should change it in this way:"The Great Gatsby can be considered as the best-written novel of the last 100 years, as it makes millions of readers have a renewed or disenchanted view of the “American Dream.”
DeleteThe Great Gatsby is inarguably one of the greatest 20th-century novels in the plot of which the authour had risen such problems as the corruption, people's aloofness from each other and their money addiction in an American society of that time
DeleteYulia and Yana,
DeleteI am not quite sure what the essential difference b/w your and the original variant is. Can you explain?
To Roman:
Deleteyour version would be good if it were not so long. Any idea how to make it shorter?
4) What is wrong with this thesis? How would you revise it?
ReplyDelete“The cost of a college education is rising sharply.”
The cost of a college education is rising sharply because of a greater number of students every year, required purchase of university equipment and the necessity to increase the employers' salary.
DeleteFrom Yana and Yulia
Delete“The cost of a college education is rising sharply because of reason 1, reason 2 and reason 3.”
list the reasons using parallel structures
reason 1 - the high demand of a quality education
reason 2 - the economical situation in a country
reason 3 - limited number of places for students in colleges.
30 words
DeleteN. Yu.: all right, 30 words is a borderline.
DeleteTo Yulya:
Deletegood suggestion only there are some problems with the language:
article use: why "the high demand" and "situation in A country?
economical vs economic: do you remember the difference?
5) Should you always perfect your thesis before writing the rest of your paper?
ReplyDeleteNobody answered this question. What's your preferred way of revising the thesis statements?
DeleteIt is not always so. First of all, you need to analyze the structure of what is required, build and evaluate your arguments, before somehow improving the thesis, because thesis statement points out the main ideas of the discussion, and therefore, you would first like to have a complete concept of what your argument is based on.
DeleteRoman,
Deletethanks for your thoughtful comment. You're quite right in your observations about the kind of information you need to have to write an appropriate thesis statement.
Part II: Practice Revising Thesis Statements
ReplyDelete6) Revise this thesis to make the language more precise.
"The two films are different. One focuses on two women who are close friends and the other focuses on two male friends who are really just buddies."
I wonder why nobody has suggested a revised version of this thesis statement and the one below?
DeleteThe two films differ greatly, because one of them is focused on close friendship between two women, while the plot of the other is based on a more casual friendship between two men. (or while the other is on a more casual friendship between two men)
Delete7. Revise this thesis statement to make the claim more specific:
ReplyDelete“In The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Robert Louis Stevenson symbolizes English upper and lower-class society.”
What about this one?
DeleteIn The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Robert Louis Stevenson symbolizes the inequality between upper and lower-class in English society through the clash of opposing characteristics of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
DeleteIt was hard to write it on the spot, because I haven't read the book and don't know the main idea of it. So I had to google the information first : ).
DeleteWhat you've done was absolutely right. Indeed, without being familiar with the basic elements of the story it is impossible to create the thesis statement
DeleteThis is a fabulous post I seen because of offer it. It is really what I expected to see trust in future you will continue in sharing such a mind boggling post Thesis Help.
ReplyDeleteI personally use them exclusively high-quality elements : you will notice these folks during: essay writing service
ReplyDeleteAre you looking for online format writing? As you know that today everything is happening online, but there are some students who have to face a lot of difficulties in taking offline tuition. So Ziyyara has come up with a solution for them so that they can take online tutoring for thesis essay writing. It is an online live tutoring platform where classes are held via one-on-one audio video mode. Enroll now, book a free demo today.
ReplyDeleteCall Us For Free Demo:- +91 9654271931.
Get Free Demo:- https://ziyyara.com/ad-contact
You have a great way to share your thoughts on this site. I was very impressed. BookMyessay Provide High Quality and plagiarism Thesis Writing Help for students.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this great blog—it was really helpful! AMX Detective Agency in Gurgaon specializes in discreet investigations. We handle matrimonial issues, employee verification, surveillance, and more. Our experienced team works with integrity, confidentiality, and precision to deliver the truth. Your peace of mind matters.
ReplyDelete